


Wedding Time

by AndeliaMaddock



Series: But that's none of Mine Business [2]
Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Cultural Misunderstandings, Multi, she consents to it, somewhat forced marriage, that old trope where to stop a war a marriage goes through, the wizard is an asshole, yeah its that one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 18:29:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7856383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndeliaMaddock/pseuds/AndeliaMaddock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dwarf, Krobus, and a feisty female farmer all get married. The entire town is just as baffled about it as they are, but it does the job, for the moment. At least it keeps a war from beginning again, and maybe coming to the surface this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wedding Time

**Author's Note:**

> People wanted a continuation, so I wrote something up tonight. Oops.

“I told them we're married.”

“What would possess you to do a thing like that?”

“Shadow brutes and void spirits are cruel. They would have killed her.”

“Hmm. But you may have made things more difficult.”

“She's alive.”

“Yes, but she's also still going into the mines.”

“I can't make her stop.”

“If they think she's bound to you, even if it's not official yet, that will lead to problems. She has to stop going into the mines, or the situation has to be explained to them.”

“And what will happen to her?”

“We won't dwell on that for the moment. Just let her know for the time being, she isn't allowed into the mines. At least, not where they dwell.”

“Hmm. I'll try.”

“If you care for her, you'll do more than try.”

\--~~--

“We're married now.”

She made that high pitched, abrupt and undulating noise. Laughter. 

Dwarves sounded so different when they laughed. Hers was strange, but he liked to hear it. She'd laughed at him asking about, and being disgusted by, milk as well.

“Tell me,” she wiped wetness from her eyes and crouched down to look closer into his helmet, “tell me that one again. I love that punchline.”

He felt nervous at this. Strange, she wasn't a threat. Probably. Then again, he had seen the wake of terror she'd strewn through fallen Shadow Brutes. “You showed me that necklace, and I accept. We will marry.” That was how it worked, right?

Teeth dug into skin, and she blinked several times, very rapidly. “O-oh, no, no, Dwarf, uh, whatever your name is. Hon-honey that's not how it works.”

“But I accept. In my culture,” he began the lie and internally guttural cried at himself, “an acceptance after the initial question is all it takes.”

“Th—listen, you're a nice... dwarf, Dwarf. But I don't even know you. I just showed that to you because it was neat and I bought it. I'm not the marrying type.”

“Then why did you purchase it? It's expensive for a bauble.”

She made a low noise in her throat, like a threat if it were from a Dwarf, but she didn't seem to be threatening. “I happen to like how it looks.”

He couldn't circle this lie for much longer. The Wizard hadn't told him how to fix this. His mistake. 

Her mistake too. She'd delved too deep.

“When I retrieved you from the brutes, I told them we were married. I thought we were.”

“That's not my fault.”

“If you go there and fight again, you could start a war. Is that something you can handle?”

“Why'd you have to tell them we were married?” She stomped a heavy purple boot, and strode forward. Rocks skittered out of her way. She towered tall over him, with intense light in her rich eyes. “I didn't need your help.”

“You would have died.”

“I've passed out down there before.”

“They surrounded you. They would have killed you.”

“I didn't ask for your help.”

He let out a screech, high, and splitting. “You would have died!” Easy. Easy. He lowered his voice, and put himself onto the floor. Calming earth. “I did what I needed to do. They believe we are together, bound as one. If you fight them, you break the treaty for all dwarves, even if you don't intend it. Wizard will--”

“He's involved in this too?”

“Of course he is! He involves himself in this. He wraps himself in it. It makes him feel good. All you humans, with your...” He would not speak. This idiot child, this fool who wanted to fight for no reason.

She continued to speak, but he couldn't concentrate on her words.

She left the mines.

At least she didn't delve into them. There was no creak of ladder, nor a ding of elevator bell.

For the first time in months, he shut his eyes and took a nap. 

He woke to a ding of the elevator.

Oh, by the stars, she really didn't listen, did she?

He flung himself forward, grabbed a sack of bombs from his chest, and headed on down towards the mines.

He went 5 floors at a time, after 60. 

Nowhere. Nowhere, nowhere. No signs of her even. 

Floor 85, and they swarmed. “We knew you'd come back—oh.”

Oh, yes. He had hoped to avoid this. “I'm looking for her. To keep her from returning.” That wouldn't stop anything. They were already in the elevator. He couldn't bomb it, they'd stop that, or they'd all plummet.

Either way, he was damned, wasn't he?

“Get the dwarf.”

“You can't hurt me, unless you're willing to start a war.” He stepped back. It was a fool's mistake, he knew. It gave them more room to crowd him. “She's not married to me.”

“Not yet. But you already claimed her. And she did have that necklace.” The masked one was so close.

He could taste the aroma of that strange confection on them. It was pungent, and sticky in the air, thick in his smell holes. He grimaced, and pulled back. “She didn't know what she was doing. We're not married. What she did doesn't count. If you attack me--”

“What?”

“The Wizard will side with me.”

They seemed concerned about that. “Prove it.”

How could he? He was stuck in an elevator with five of the enemy, and the doors shut around them, trapping them all inside.

Maybe he should bomb them. It wasn't like dead brutes told tales.

Then again, he'd die too. You couldn't freefall that far and live, no matter how expertly crafted your helm.

“We could go to him. Tonight.”

“Then we will. We'll talk with him and see if what you say is true.”

\--~~--

Krobus, the devious farmer, and Wizard all stood in the middle of the building when Dwarf and his captors stepped inside.

“My brothers.”

“You caught this human!” The leader hissed, and groaned.

“She's free.” Krobus held his voice low, and smooth.

Dwarf shifted in his binds.

“What's the meaning of this?” The Wizard boomed, a voice louder than the Dwarf had heard, even during his scuffle with Krobus in the sewers.

“She broke the agreement.” Fingers pointed in unison. “He made claims on her.”

Krobus shifted. “It doesn't matter.”

“Um, excuse me.” She stood from her plush chair and stepped over. “I'm sorry, but no, I--”

“I've given her a strange bun, and she's accepted.”

She turned about to regard Krobus. She held the bun in question. There was no doubt about it.

Dwarf hissed. “No! She handed me the necklace and I accepted! You won't have your claim on her.”

“Claim claim claim!” All of the other brutes chanted.

“Did she accept the strange bun?” The leader asked.

“Of course I did! It's rude to say no to gifts, something everyone in this town could learn. Sheesh. But that doesn't mean--”

“You gave a bun to one who slaughters our kind?”

“You fight humans!” Krobus stepped forward. “You ignite anger.”

“She comes to steal. To pillage our homes! To kill our kind!”

“Then she will stop.” Krobus hissed, and his mouth formed larger than Dwarf liked to see. 

“Is anyone going to ask what I want?”

“It matters not! You must pick one, Krobus, or this lowly Dwarf.” The leader screeched afterward, and the others joined him in a hollow cry.

Wizard stamped his staff on the wooden flooring. “That's enough! That's enough! All but Krobus, Dwarf, and--”

“That's it.” She turned about. “I'm going.”

“I was going to say, you need to stay.”

“I came here for answers! Not two non-humans trying to--”

Wizard stepped closer. “Just. Trust me. The rest of you, leave. You may return when we have sorted this out.”

They hissed and called out with high and low utterances, but turned to slink away out the door into the night sky.

Wizard took her by the shoulders.

She pulled away, face red as a ruby, eyes wide and mouth open. “How dare you all! I'm not cattle! I'm not for sale.”

“I know that. And I'm sorry. But perhaps this is for the best. I saw a bit of it in my--”

“You saw this coming, and you didn't stop anything?”

“It could lead to stabilization. No Dwarf and no Shadow Creature would ever form any significant bond to each other. By themselves. Humans are either a catalyst for chaos, or for stabilization. You could be that.”

Dwarf felt a chill run through him. Oh. Oh, that was Wizard's plan. That was why he'd been sent away so quickly. So Wizard could talk to Krobus, most likely.

Krobus seemed a bit distressed at the idea as well. His lines shook, and his mouth wavered. “That's not--”

“It's something that could keep a war from occurring.”

She slumped into the chair. Fingers yanked at strange human hair. Her face seemed to have less color than usual, even with more lighting. “I can't believe this is what it's coming to. You want me to get with both?”

“'Get with' isn't the phrase I would use. All you'd have to do, is accept.”

It didn't matter what species you were, that was pure rage. Burning, but covered with vibrant eyes and thin lips that curled just ever so slightly. “I blame you for this.” She hissed. It was a sound he knew all too well, similar to his own kind.

“Me?” He stepped back.

“You're the one who encouraged me to get void essences from the mines. And if you saw it in your pot, then you knew what would happen.”

“My... premonitions aren't as clear as that. You've seen how it can get.” He took another step back.

She stood up, and her finger jabbed into his chest. “I didn't like you using me in the sewers to force them to agree to get along, and I sure as fuck don't like it now with their entire war on my shoulders. I'll do this, but only because I don't mind these two. I like them better than you. If I had to marry your crusty ass, I'd fight in the war myself to avoid it.”

A dampness soaked his forehead, and he heaved out a breath like one might as they climbed to the top of the mines along the ladders. “How dare--”

“You shut your mouth. Krobus, go get your family or whatever--”

“They're not exactly--”

“Get them inside and tell them I'm marrying both of you, and if they got problems, I'll make them choke on it.”

This? This is why he'd gone to get her in the mines. Capable, strong, an excellent leader, shrewd with business, skilled with her body. And he'd been worried.

He'd been right to worry, of course.

\--~~--

Marriage was not what he understood. 

She forced them to have it on the surface. She forced them, and even the Wizard who had issue with it, had been shot down immediately with her intensity. She refused to let it be a secret.

Dwarf felt a strange twist of pride. She wanted to show him off as a good partner. And Krobus, he supposed. Someone that the other humans would need to see. Not someone to be hidden away.

It was dark, night, and there were many people. And brutes. And a few dwarves, that hid behind trees, and gravestones, and watched with eyes full of suspicion at the scene.

He had not wanted them to be here, but they had found out quickly enough. They came to witness the spectacle. 

Humans seemed alarmed. Eyes wide, mouths tight, white white white eyes, bold with color and darkness in the center.

He thought the shadows had strange eyes, but humans were truly more terrifying in their endless variations. How did anyone know what faces and voices and touches meant when it came to humans? There was too much to learn.

She stood in her thick pants, and her long sleeved shirt.

People talked, and he didn't understand it, and he tried to keep his face neutral, but found the dark skin peeling back and revealing teeth the more they tittered and shushed one another.

He didn't know what that comment was, but the farmer had scowled at the old man who'd said it. That old man now stood, a bit shaky, where Krobus and his soon to be 'Marriage Partner' and himself all stood. In front of, and in some cases to the sides of, those who watched.

The man's hands shook a bit as he read. The words made no sense.

It was a nonsense. This was nonsense. He'd done this to them all, and he felt a sense of elation that someone so clearly powerful (they could take out dozens of shadow brutes!) and it mixed uncomfortably with a sense of dread in his spine (this was forced, he had done this, he knew nothing about her but what qualities she had shared.)

A dwarf hissed.

A shadow brute screeched.

He bared his teeth.

The Wizard stood taller, behind the whole thing, his eyes focused on the scene. 

They all quieted down, except for the humans. They continued to whisper, to squirm in their chairs like worms in a wet puddle down on the 20th level of the mines.

It was over, and there was mostly inedible, saccharine food. He sniffed a slice of meat, put it into a skin fold, and moved ahead in the line. 

Food was over, and there were groups of people, and brutes, and dwarves, and none of them knowing what to do, or say.

Uncomfortable. Uncomfortable.

She began to talk, translate. She began to tell a joke to two humans that a brute had just told a spirit.

He felt that smile tug, despite himself.

The humans laughed, so similar to her own. 

She translated. A group of dwarves, they laughed at a joke the humans told.

A human with long head hair. Did that mean female? Dark clothing, pale skin. Smelled like bombs a little, the smoke part. Yes. Female. He decided. They were a similar height to his Marriage Partner, and he accepted this female human. They stood off to the side, away from the other humans.

He moved closer, and stood beside them. He tried to speak.

They tried to speak.

He scoffed. This was not good enough. She'd learned the language, why couldn't the other humans? Dwarves had been here first.

The human scoffed too, though they seemed to smile as well. Something hung out of their lips, and smoldered at the end.

It was that one who came and did that near the lake. That human who looked wistfully towards the mines some nights, later and later as the cold season came.

“Oh, this is Sebastian. Sebastian, my uh... Dwarf.”

Her Dwarf. He felt that tingle in his foot pads. Yes. Hers. 

Marriage Partner, his farmer, came and stood closer when the Sebastian left. “It went decently. No one tried to kill anyone else.”

“They might have tried, if not for him.” He glanced to the Wizard.

“Considering it's his fault we're doing this in the first place.” She grabbed him by the hand, and pulled him along with Krobus.

Towards the house. Towards not his mines. Towards not where he really wanted to be, but where he didn't get a choice for the moment.

This was his fault, and Krobus' too, and he knew it. But he would accept her blame of the Wizard. The crafty human likely did put his hand into this mess and stir it up.

House. Not mine, not cave, not hole. House.

Many other house, with larger animals than he felt comfortable with, that slept inside. Not pleasant house.

Not many times had he come here, though a few times when he had, he'd caught Krobus nearby as well.

He turned to look at the black figure, and offered a silent hiss.

Krobus' white eyes became slits, and he bared his teeth.

She tugged harder on them. “Knock it off.”

“What?”

“Don't 'what' me. You two aren't innocent in this. I'm the only one who didn't get any say in this.” She kicked in the door, then picked them both up, one on each hip, and stepped sideways into the house. She grinned, and laughed, a complete contrast to her dark bitter words of a moment before.

“Why are you laughing?” Krobus lay still in her grip, his body droopy against her arm.

“Because I just carried you two over the threshold.” She stepped towards the area where she would sleep when they would watch sometimes.

Dwarf and Krobus looked into each others eyes. A head shake confirmed. Neither understood.

Krobus laughed.

Dwarf laughed. Louder.

They all laughed, in various lingering pitches, and she settled them onto the bed. “I'm getting some sleep. It was a long fucking day making sure nothing went wrong during that. You two should get some rest too. And don't worry. I don't plan to do anything to you.” She flopped down in the middle of them.

Shadow Brutes did not sleep. Ever.

Dwarves only slept every few months.

Humans, seemingly the weakest, and yet the dominant species around, needed so much sleep.

Krobus looked to him, squinted, then lay back and shut his eyes.

He lay back and shut his eyes. 

She made soft noises, like she always did when she slept. Whirs. Whimbles. Whamps. 

He liked to hear them.

Krobus began to make that horrible noise.

“Stop that!”

“I'm singing!”

“No one wants you to sing.” He forced his eyes open. 

“I want to.”

“Krobus, please don't sing.” She moved closer to Krobus, and pulled him against her body. “Just, be quiet and go to sleep.”

Yeah, Krobus. Just try. Maybe be silent for 8-10 hours like a typical human. Dwarf wouldn't mind that.

He napped.

Sunlight and a loud hiss woke him. They gave a hiss and shriek, and their noises mingled sharply in the air.

She flipped a blanket onto them and groaned. “Really?”

Krobus and Dwarf crawled closer, to get the most of the blanket that they could.

“I don't think anyone thought the logistics of this shit out.” She put another blanket on them, then moved to make the window stop hurting them.

He relaxed, and pushed Krobus out from under the blanket.

Krobus howled, and moved to punch him.

She lay down between them both and put a palm on their foreheads. “No more. I'm going to work. Don't kill each other.”

He huffed. “I will not kill him. That would break the treaty.”

Krobus didn't reply, his eyes were tightly together. 

She let out another breath, and moved to begin her day.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment if you like this and want more!
> 
> http://stardew-nsfw-imagines.tumblr.com/ I'm dragon mod over here, send a prompt if you have something you wanna see. We get to them as quickly as we can.


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